To me, sobriety means so much more than not drinking. It’s being accountable for myself, my actions, and my place in this world. It’s living in the present; always aware I have choices to make every day. Sobriety is being intentional with things—my choices, my words, my interactions with others, and the impression I make on people, especially those in early recovery. How I make them feel. How I help them see.
Sobriety has given me a whole new life, and it’s better than I could’ve dreamed. That’s not just a catchphrase. It’s the truth.
I’m a writer and artist. I was fully convinced my “creativity” was tied in with being altered. Oh, was I wrong!
It took a bit of time, but once I had the courage to begin creating again, I was stunned at the depth and clarity of my work, both writing and painting. It’s almost as though something inside me has been freed, and it’s churning out endless ideas, endless inspiration. It’s humbling, it’s exhilarating, and it’s created a whole new chapter for me—figuratively and literally.
Treatment and recovery saved my life. It helped me find who I really am—the Susan who was waiting there for me, just under the surface, ready to break free.
I am so unbelievably grateful.
In treatment, the biggest lesson I learned is the importance of addressing past trauma, the emotions associated with that, and understanding how that caused me to stuff everything down and “play happy.” Once I accepted I was in a safe place, and that I was being asked to feel and talk and emote, things started to happen for me. We can’t heal if we don’t feel, and as much as it can completely suck at times to ride that rollercoaster of emotions, it’s imperative to do so.
It’s soul-searching, hard work, but it brings you to authenticity, to emotional and physical health, and its life-changing in more ways than I can express. It’s worth it 1,000 times over. Hell, a million times over.